Ask Peaches: Does my favourite trope say something about my real-life desire?

New here, darling? This post is part of a series called ‘Ask Peaches’ where I answer the delicious, burning questions you have about smut, sex and anything spicy inbetween. Read this for more context or send your own juicy musings straight to me at peaches@ladieswholit.co.uk Always anonymous, always answered in good faith and good fun. Take what you love and leave anything you don’t.

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Dear Peaches,

What does it mean if the trope I love in books is really different from what I want or enjoy in real life?

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If I had a pound for every time I’d heard this question, darling… I’d be exhausted, but ever so satisfied.

One of the reasons I get on my soap box for smut every chance I get is the role it can play in exploring our own desire.

Smut tropes often invite us into something new, and sometimes taboo. For most of us, novelty triggers a dopamine response. We feel good, but we’re also more present, paying more attention to what we’re doing (or, in this case, reading). And importantly, there’s no risk*. We get to experience the thrill, but in the safety and security of our own imaginations.

Does it mean there’s no connection between the tropes you crave and the type of sex or pleasure you want? Not at all, darling–and if you have someone (or some people) you trust to try something new with, I’d be the first to say ‘Go for it’ and deliver me the juicy details later. But it might also be as simple as your brain relishing newness.

If you’re relatively new to the world of smut and curious about other tropes you might encounter (or actively seek out…) read my guide to smut genres, terms and tropes.

Your sister in smut,

Peaches

*Some tropes can be triggering–I’d always recommend reading a book's content warnings if you think you might be affected.