Why women's Reading Retreats are the secret to making friends as an adult

Remember when making friends was as simple as meeting someone at school or at the park and deciding you were besties? Somewhere along the way, it got a little more awkward and a lot more complicated with conflicting schedules.

Maybe you've moved to a new city (or a new country). Maybe your friends had babies and you didn't, or you had babies and they didn't. Maybe the kids have flown the nest, you've gone freelance, you've retired or your social life used to run through a relationship that's now over. Whatever the reason, you look at your calendar and think: where do grown women actually meet each other?

You are very much not alone. Ask a 25-year-old, a 45-year-old and a 65-year-old in Manchester, Minneapolis or Melbourne, and you'll hear a version of the same story. Making friends as an adult is hard, at every age and in every culture, because friendship needs the things adult life is stingiest with: time, space and a reason to keep showing up.

That’s exactly why we think women's reading retreats might be the best-kept secret to making adult friends.

No interruptions, no distractions

On a reading retreat, the usual noise switches off. No inbox pinging, no school run, no ‘quick question’ from your boss, no one asking what's for dinner or where their sports kit is. You're not the planner-in-chief or the person who always remembers the birthday card. You're just you, with a book and a breathtaking view.

That matters more than you might think for making new friends. It's very hard to be properly present with someone new when half your brain is running through tomorrow's to-do list. Take away the distractions and something lovely happens: you actually listen, you notice and conversations go much further than “So, what do you do?" It’s also why they’re the perfect holiday for the modern woman.

You already know they love reading

One of the hardest parts of meeting new people is finding your way in. On a reading retreat, that’s a given. Everyone around the pool or by the fireside has chosen to spend their holiday reading, which means you already have something in common that you could happily talk about for hours.

"What are you reading?" is the easiest icebreaker in the world and it never stays small talk. Within minutes you're debating whether the villain deserved redemption, hyping up that wild plot twist, swapping recommendations and discovering you both cried at the same chapter on the same series. Books give you a shortcut to really get to know someone: what they value, what makes them laugh and what breaks their heart. That's the foundation of real friendship and you get there before you’ve even said the first goodnight.

Shared experiences (including long, lazy dinners)

Friendships are built on shared memories and a retreat hands you several days’ worth. The sunset you all stopped to watch. The plot twist that made someone gasp out loud on the sun lounger. The walk into the nearby village, the swim before breakfast and the inside joke that started on day two and somehow lasted all retreat.

Then there are the dinners, which we go the extra mile to make magical on Ladies Who Lit Reading Retreats. Long tables, good food, a glass (or two) of something cold, and conversations that drift from books to life and back again, long after the plates are cleared. There's something about eating together, night after night, that turns a group of strangers into a group of friends. It's the closest grown-up equivalent to sharing a lunch table at school, just with much better wine and many more incredible stories.

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Time to just be

It might sound counterintuitive, but a reading retreat is a great way to find friendship partly because nobody forces it. There are no awkward icebreaker games and no pressure to be ‘on’ all the time. If you want to spend the afternoon alone with your book, the ultimate self-care, you can. If you want to join the chat on the terrace, there will always be a chair for you.

You get to connect at your own pace, the way friendship naturally develops, rather than cramming it into a two-hour window. Quiet time side-by-side, reading in comfortable silence, is a kind of companionship too. And when you do come together, you've had space to rest and recharge, so you bring the best version of yourself to the table.

It's also why so many women come on their own to Ladies Who Lit Reading Retreats. Arriving solo can feel daunting, but you're surrounded by people who are there for exactly the same reasons as you, and in our experience, nobody stays a stranger for long. Plenty of guests arrive knowing no one and leave with a new group chat, plans for next year and a TBR list that's doubled in size.

The friendships that follow you home

The magic of a reading retreat doesn't end when you fly home. The friendships you make carry on in book chats, buddy reads, voice notes about the sequel and, very often, plans to book the next retreat together. Because once you've found women who love what you love, who'll happily sit in silence with you and then talk until midnight, you won’t want to let them go.

Making friends as an adult doesn't have to mean forcing small talk at networking events or hoping someone at the gym feels chatty. Sometimes it just means picking up a book, going somewhere beautiful and letting the right people find you.

Be the first to hear about Ladies Who Lit Reading Retreats

To get our weekly women’s reading retreat edits straight to your inbox, including new retreat announcements and available spaces, sign up to the Ladies Who Lit newsletter. Want early access to new dates and destinations? Become a Ladies Who Lit Member and you’ll also get an invite to our monthly book club call, plus a private WhatsApp for your live reactions, wild theories and unfiltered feels.

Already packing your suitcase with your TBR pile? Browse our available Reading Retreats. 

Happy reading, ladies. Your new best friend might be waiting on the sun lounger for you.

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